When you’re planning to have a baby, you expect to feel excited and happy. But what if, instead, you’re feeling anxious, scared, or even sad? You might be asking yourself:
Is this normal?
Why am I so stressed even before I’m pregnant?
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many women feel overwhelmed before pregnancy, and it’s completely okay to talk about it. In fact, ignoring pre-pregnancy anxiety or depression before pregnancy can affect both your mental and physical health down the road.
Let’s talk openly and honestly about this topic, what it means, how it shows up, and what you can do about it.
Why Your Mental Health is Important Pre-Pregnancy
Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body when prepping for pregnancy. You’re probably aware of the importance of healthy eating, exercise, and vitamins, but your mental health is important too.
If you’re feeling anxious or depressed before your pregnancy, this can make it harder to conceive, put you at risk of pregnancy complications, and increase your chances of feeling the same or worse after your baby comes.
So, this isn’t just in your head, it’s a real thing, and we need to pay attention to it, like any other health concern.
Signs You may be Emotionally Struggling before Pregnancy
It is common to feel anxious before making such a big life change. However, it is different when you are feeling worried from time to time, and feeling emotional pain that feels sticky.
You may be feeling anxious if..
- You can’t stop thinking or worrying about your pregnancy or your future
- You feel tense or anxious most of the time
- You struggle with sleep or feel restless at night
- You are always thinking about the worst-case scenario
- You feel snappy or irritable more than usual
You may be suffering from depression if:
- You feel sad or empty almost every day
- You’ve lost interest in the things you once loved
- You’re sleeping too much, or not enough
- You feel tired most of the time
- You feel worthless or guilty for no good reason
- You’re having trouble focusing or making decisions
If any of the above relates to you and it’s been going on for more than a couple of weeks, you should consider talking to someone about it.
What Might Be Causing These Feelings?
There are many reasons you might be feeling this way. Here’s a list of possible reasons that might help you understand what is happening:
1. History of Emotional Problems
If you’ve experienced bouts of anxiety or depression in the past, these feelings can be re-activated by a major life change, like having a baby.
2. Parenting Fears
Wondering if you’re ready is normal for many women, but for some women that thought process can develop into a constant anxiety and fear (i.e., about body changes, loss of freedom, being a bad mother).
3. Relationship or Family Pressure
Your partner may not be feeling as ready as you are. Or your family is constantly asking you, When are you having a baby? All of these external pressures build inside you leaving you feeling stressed.
4. Difficulty Getting Pregnant
When you are trying to get pregnant and not getting the outcomes you want brings sadness, frustration, and even guilt – especially when it seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant easily.
5. Medical Concerns
Having a medical condition like thyroid problems, PCOS, or a hormonal imbalance can disrupt not only your body but also your mood.
How Anxiety and Depression Affect Your Body
Your mind and body are connected. When your mental health is off, your body can feel it too.
- Constant stress can mess up your hormones and make it harder to ovulate or get pregnant
- Depression can lead to unhealthy habits, overeating, skipping meals, not sleeping well, which don’t help your chances of conceiving
- Anxiety can cause headaches, chest tightness, and make you feel constantly exhausted
That’s why it’s so important to look after your mental health before pregnancy, not just for the baby, but for you.
What You Can Do to Feel Better
The good news is, You don’t have to stay stuck in these feelings. Here are some simple next steps that can be very helpful:
- Talk with Someone
Talking with a mental health professional is a great way to help you work out what you’re feeling and why. You can talk to your doctor or OB-GYN about your emotions surrounding your pre-pregnancy planning, too.
- Start A Journal
Taking time each day to write out how you feel can help you better understand your emotions. Once you start writing, you may see patterns occurring. Sometimes just writing it out, can be helpful.
- Move Your Body
You don’t have to have a gym membership, even a 20-minute brisk walk or yoga session at home can help lift your spirits and reduce your stress.
- Take Good Care of Yourself by Getting Good Sleep
Your brain needs some rest! Try to sleep and wake at the same time every day, not looking at screens at night, and keep your bedroom as calm and dark and quiet as possible.
- Eat Foods That Lift Your Mood
Fresh fruits, leafy greens, nuts, whole grains, and lots of water. Your body (and brain) will be thankful.
- Consider Deep Breathing or Mindfulness Meditation
There are free and easy apps and YouTube videos that will take you through breathing exercises. Even 5 minutes a day, will help calm your nervous system.
You don’t need to wait until you’re pregnant to start taking care of your emotional health. Feeling calm, confident, and supported before you conceive makes the whole journey easier, and healthier.
